Before I saw the movie I was bombarded by people saying how good it was because of apparent "feminist undertones" and something to do with a 'rape analogy' for a fairy losing her wings. Well as it turns out, all the rape in the world, analogy or otherwise, probably couldn't make this movie any more interesting. There are perhaps one or two truly emotional moments but most of the performances (except for the mentally unwell obsessive old king) fell rather flat.
First, we have Maleficent's kingdom full of painfully saccharine CGI monsters and landscapes that the actors have a hard time realistically reacting to (protip, you can't really replace a glowing dragon with a ball on a stick and have your actors still be easily overwhelmed by it) and the magical land is so painfully sugary you almost can't wait for things to go south, which they soon do, and Maleficent becomes a being full of hatred and decides to curse the daughter of the lying king that wronged her.
The only hole in this story is that after Maleficent curses Aurora to spite the king, she then proceeds to meticulously... stalk Aurora and spy on the baby she just put a curse on. For reasons unknown, instead of using her powers to torment the actual king who brutally betrayed her, she spends sixteen years of her time playing pranks on the inept pixie fairies trying to raise this poor cursed infant on their own. Sixteen years of this shit. Is this supposed to be revenge? Playing pranks on a fucking baby? While the king uses that 16 years to build an actual army and get some of his shit together? Time well spent for our evil overlord, apparently, who has literally nothing else to do.
It's also established in the movie that fairy creatures such as Maleficent are burned by iron. Of course, whenever iron touches her she heals instantly after a brief moment of pain because the decision to give Angelina Jolie even one ugly scar was apparently too painful for the producers. Explains why the green skin got the axe.
And of course things play out fairly expectedly. Aurora and Maleficent are reconciled, the prince is useless, the king dies after being spared by Maleficent and then falling to his death after trying to kill her again after the fact, much like Gaston. Because you know.
No one drops like Gaston. No one flies like Gaston. No one falls off a castle and dies like Gaston. He's incredibly good at defenestrating, what a way to die, like Gaston.
TRIPS LIKE GASTON
NO ONE SPILLS LIKE GASTON
NO ONE'S DEATH SHOWS UP IN OTHER FILMS LIKE GASTON
DISNEY'S REUSING ALL THEIR OLD SOURCE MATERIAL
FLY BABY FLY
..Uh. Yeah. Not a great movie to spend a ton of cash on in my opinion I give it like a C+.